


The Monkey's Paw

by TheMilahsKillyBear



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 08:16:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13807209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMilahsKillyBear/pseuds/TheMilahsKillyBear
Summary: A post-Milah's death ficlet inspired by the rope toy that Belle finds when she tries to steal back the shawl in Season 2.





	The Monkey's Paw

He picked up the little monkey’s paw knotted toy that had fallen out of Milah’s pocket that day, staring down at it. A part of him wanted to throw it far out to sea, but the rest of him, the larger part, refused, and so he kept it. Killian knew why it had been in her pocket, had suspected it when her moon cycle had been disturbed for enough time to be more than irregularities. Since she hadn’t been able to tell him, he would never truly know, but there was no other explanation for the baby rattle that was now always close to his heart.

Thoughts of his own past rose in his mind as he stared out at the horizon, and a deep sigh escaped his lips before he turned his gaze to the rattle once more. He was safely alone on deck, all his men below asleep. He couldn’t be sure, even now, even with how much he had loved his Milah, how much she had loved him, if he would be any different from his own father. Or from Liam. He had loved his brother, but he still felt less than enough for Liam. As though he was always lacking in something. The wounds cut deep, one after another, until all that was left was a shell of a man, cold and empty.  
  
Turning his eyes from the setting sun to the rattle, a tear rolled down his cheek before he dashed it away quickly, roughly, swallowing against the remaining tears that threatened to spill from his eyes. Tears that were a testament to his love, his Milah, and the child that would have been theirs, a child to fill another part of her heart, a part he knew had ached. He knew she loved him, but he also knew she longed to hold a child, her child, once more. Bae, yes, him as well, but also a child born from love instead of obligation to a man she despised. A true family, the four of them, one day. All of that, gone, gone in the beat of a heart, the echo of a shout, the whisper of a breeze, the blink of an eye, and the beat of a butterfly’s wing. Gone, in the clenching of a fist, in a monster’s grip. Killian’s hand shook as he held the rattle, his entire body shook with anger and pain and hatred and loss. Familiar emotions, the only things that remained from all those who had once stood beside him. “Milah.” He whispered, lifting his eyes from the rattle to the stars just beginning to show themselves in the shadowy sky above him. “Oh, Milah… Why did you have to go? Why you?” Killian whispered. For a moment, just a moment, Hook vanished, and left Killian in his place, the monster giving way to the man beneath. “I could have borne all the rest with you by my side, but not now…” He whispered, staring up at a star that seemed to be brighter than the others. He hoped, wherever she was, she was happy, safe, surrounded by joy and all the good things that had been denied her for so very long.

He gazed down at the rattle, then tucked it into his vest pocket again, with the folded picture of Milah. His family, all he had left of them. Resting his hand over the pocket, he turned his eyes towards the horizon, and his gaze hardened as he saw the shores of Neverland, where his story was entering a new chapter, a dark chapter, filled with murder and other terrible crimes. All in their names, in the name of Milah and their unborn child. All for them. Until it wasn’t. Until it was all for him. All for him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a one shot, with no further parts. It's a brief exploration into Killian's mind after Milah dies.


End file.
